Years ago when I first started going to events and conferences as part of my professional life I quickly figured out that I really enjoyed meeting new people and learning a few things about them. For me it was the beginning of a love affair that was a long time in the making and has been a much enjoyed ever since. One of the things that I quickly noticed is that an observant person could look around and see that there are four types of people at the events: those who enjoy it and are good at it, those who enjoy it but are not so good at it, those who do not enjoy it but do it well, and those who do not enjoy it and do not do it well.
I knew right away that I enjoyed it, so I wanted to make sure that I would grow to be one of those people who does it well. Some times it is easier to see the things that do not work or work poorly than to be able to at face value understand what causes those who are successful to succeed. So I started to make a study of those things not to do and the 7 Deadly Sins of Working a Room.
1) Trying to do too much - I have been to many different events and function where there is always someone making the circuit around the room as fast as they can from conversation group to conversation group. We have all heard some one referred to as a social butterfly, but these are the social hummingbirds. They are dodging in and out never settling in any one conversation long enough to do more than just get noticed. We all have goals and aims of growing our network, but nothing is gained by hit and run networking.
2) Looking around during a conversation - I think we have all had this experience with our kids or a young person in our life. Most of the time when it happens we know that we are not be listened too. The same holds true when we do it at a social event or conference. If we are looking around the room trying to find the next person we are going to talk to when we should be involved in a conversation how will we be perceived. I believe that when we are gazing around for our next conversation, we are seen as just as rude and uncaring.
3) Not having cards - For those who have read anything I have ever written, it is obvious that this is one of those things which I believe is always a serious error no matter where we find ourselves. A friend of mine who has for years has used the joke that he gets paid a quarter for every card he gives away and that is how he earns his living. Well, I am sure at times some feel that they are paid that little, but the reality of it is that giving away our cards does pay. Having when needed is a critical part of developing a network. These should be kept clean, handy and separate from those that have been collected from others.
4) Clinging to those you know It is only natural to want to be around those people with whom we are comfortable. Often if we look around the room, we will find groups from a company or those who are on the board of the sponsoring organization standing in a corner talking. This may be okay for a very short minute, if the subject has to do with strategy for working the room. Otherwise, it is time to break away and meet new people. Additionally, there are those people who need our help, they need someone to talk to them and they may be too shy to come find us.
5) Spending to much time with one person - Once a conversation is going well it becomes very easy and comfortable stagnate there and never move on. Most of the people at different functions and conferences understand that we must make the most of our opportunities to meet new people. That said conversations should be limited to a reasonable time. If we spend the whole 30 minutes of available networking time talking with one person, we have probably done ourselves and them a great disservice. It can be difficult to break way from a conversation. If this is a problem, help the other person out by introducing them to someone else you think they may want to know, then momentarily bow out of the conversation.
6) Becoming too much the “life” of the party - Most of us think it would be beneficial to be the life of the party. We all like to enjoy ourselves and to do so in the company of others is a good way to build rapport. But much like everything moderation is the best policy. If we allow ourselves to enjoy it too much, when drinking is involved, we can easily become an embarrassment to ourselves, those around us and our companies.
7) Interrupting others For the most part common curteousy has been forgotten and often it is the norm for people to interrupt each other as they try to have a conversation. There are three problems with this approach. First it is rude and in doing so may be seen as undesirable to be around. Secondly as our first grade teachers told us, if we are talking we cannot be listening. Finally, if we interrupt as some one is trying to say something, it is possible that our reply may not fit in with what they are saying.
By avoiding these seven mistakes, we are not guaranteed to be good at working a room. It is certain that if we commit these 7 Deadly Sins, we will most certainly not be successful.
I agee wholeheartedly and find the traps, within the article, where I’ve set for myself in the past.
However, I’d add finding a “follow through” contact method should be included to make these card swapping encounters beneficial to either party. I can’t tell you how many cards I’ve collected over the years without any clue as to what I need to do next and thus the initial contact advantage is lost forever.
Great comments. I agree with Steve- without follow up, networking us a useless waste of time. On the positive side, I would add: bring something to the table when meeting someone new and help to make introductions for other people.
Great comments by all! Just a quick add to Marcia’s comments, when speaking to someone new, look for a way to help them expand the reach of their business development activities. This can be accomplished through an introduction to another person at the event or to one of your clients that may have a possible need for their offerings. The laws of reciprocation can be very powerful.
There is nothing more annoying than Sin #2 – Looking around during a conversation . Im always amazed when seasoned business professionals do this during conversations with me…sure fire way to make someone feel unimportant. This is really one of my top things to conciously not do. Its hard but a MUST.
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